and so ...

An overwhelming feeling came over me yesterday. It might not have been the first time I'd considered it, but this instinct was for real. I decided to sleep on it.

Now, it's Thursday. And I'm still feeling the same thing.

I think the little hamster on his wheel has come full circle. It's time to take a break from the blog.

Three years and 750 posts later.

The thing is, I'm busy. All the time. Not surprised, I know. When I'm not expending time and energy wrangling the most amazing toddler ever, I'm hard at work growing his new sibling. There's house work to be done, meals to be made, projects to enjoy, family and friend time to savour. It's all part of the chaos that I really, truly love.

I'm not fitting the blogging thing in very well anymore (shocker). I neglect it, feel guilty, throw posts together, and I'm not satisfied. This blog isn't reflecting what I had originally hoped and intended. I'm not sharing as many how-tos or before and afters as I once did, and it's not even a sample of my best writing (not that it was ever meant to be Pulitzer-worthy, but you know what I mean).

I'm not saying I'm gone forever, but definitely for now. Who knows what will happen a month or a year or five years from now, or what iteration my online writing will take in the future. Who knows, I might miss it horribly and come back sooner than I expect, or this may be it for good. Only time will tell.

But I wanted to say thank you, so much, for reading, commenting and making this fun for me. It's been a truly unique experience.

Love, 
Lindsey

P.S. I'll still be writing about My Hectic Home and I'm sure I'll be seeing you on Pinterest.

our #1

To the very best dad & husband,

We can't imagine spending our everydays without you to take care of us, keep us safe, love us and hug us.

Thank you for all that you are and all that you do, today and always.

We three love you more than you know xo

(Pictured: a pretty perfect way to spend a lazy father's day afternoon, don't you think?)

the difference a year makes

One year ago today, I ended my maternity leave early and went back to work full-time. The job was, and still is, the job. Through my excitement at the time, there was apprehension. I wondered then if I would look back and regret leaving Jacob with Husband for the summer, when I could've been home with them for two months of family freedom.

One year later, I can honestly say that I don't. My work is a part of who I am, and I would have regretted passing up the opportunity to find a comfortable place in my field again.

Now, I'm in a settled groove at work, taking on new projects and I genuinely look forward to going to the office each morning. And I know how insanely lucky I am.

On this day last year, Jacob was a still-nursing, not-yet-walking, rolly-polly babe. Now, he's an energy-filled, running-and-jumping, hilarious and sweet toddler that I just can't get enough of. We are beyond fortunate to have a wonderful home to leave him at each day, with the sweetest caregiver and her loving family. He's made many new friends and learned so much. Even now, I have butterflies every day as I make the short trip from my office to the door where I pick him up. I am thrilled to see him at the end of a busy day and relish the moment he screams "Mummy!" and jumps into my arms.

What a difference a year makes. It feels like I've come full-circle in many ways. I'm expecting again. I'm in the planning stages of another maternity leave, anticipating some time to spend all of my energy on my family.

Here's to the past year, everything it's meant to me, and knock on wood that the next is just as lucky.

to dos for June

Ten to-dos in June:

1) Finish the flower beds, with the help of my "gardening lesson" tomorrow ... more on that later.
2) Walk. Walk. Walk. Get out for exercise as much as possible.
3) Try three new recipes.
4) Read three books. Nearly half-way through our latest book club selection, Before I Go to Sleep.
5) Bake at least once a week. Started this last weekend with chocolate chip muffins.
6) Sew and hang J's big-boy room curtains.
7) Have friends over for a backyard summer barbecue, provided the weather eventually cooperates.
8) Return our digital box and start living cable free, for at least the summer. We've enjoyed so little TV lately that it just doesn't seem worth the money. I'll report back on this later.
9) Celebrate father's day with Husband and J (which includes thinking up something special to do for him).
10) Find out the sex of our newest bundle!

Thanks, as always, to Mama Kat for the writers' prompt.

the old-fashioned way

As you may or may not know, because I never actually published Jacob's birth story, I was fortunate to give birth naturally last time. I say fortunate only because it's what I really wanted. With the help of acupuncture from a naturopathic doctor, I was able to go into labour on my own at 10 days overdue, and was relieved to avoid the induction process (which friends have said is really horrible).

And by naturally, I must preface that I had a dose of morphine around the six-cm mark, and went to town on some laughing gas while I pushed. Worth noting: everyone I know who has asked for the gas agrees, there's nothing worth laughing about. In childbirth, the stuff serves no purpose, unless it's to encourage you to inhale like a maniac.

This time, I'm planning and hoping to do it the same way, but hopefully with less yelling. I'm not even joking. I know there are lots of mamas out there who call me crazy. What about an epidural, you ask? Frankly, I am absolutely terrified of the thought of that needle, which far outweighs the pain of the alternative. That's just me.

This time, I want to learn more relaxation and focusing techniques to help manage the contractions and make for a smooth, stress-free experience. I know that birthing babies is an extremely unpredictable process, and while I thoughtfully wrote my birth plan last time, I wasn't married to it. I know that unforeseen circumstances arise all the time that warrant sudden changes. That's partially why I'm more comfortable birthing in a hospital setting. No matter what the outcome, I'd like to do a bit of advanced preparation to help guide the process as much as I'm able.

But all of this blabber brings me to my main question, what are the best resources for this sort of thing? And by thing, I mean natural ways to manage pain and promote/facilitate easier child birth. I just got "The Official Lamaze Guide" from the library as a start. I haven't started reading it yet, but the table of contents looks promising. Have you or someone you know taken a Lamaze class? All I know is that they seem expensive ($300 for a two-day session)? What about the Bradley Method? Any others?

dreaming nursery dreams

In case you're not following me on Pinterest, I thought I'd throw together some nursery thoughts to share ... I'd love to know what you think. It's a fairly unisex scheme, even though we should know if it's dude or dudette by the end of this month!